Atypical
by Shimegami-chan
Summary: One-shot. After a botched good deed, Timmy wishes that Cosmo was a little bit smarter. There'll be a lesson in equivalent exchange, for some, and then Wanda must decide which Cosmo she'd rather keep. Companion story to 'Eyes On Me.'


A/N: Companion piece to _Eyes On Me,_ which should be located directly below this story in my profile. Chronologically _Eyes On Me_ is first, but you may read in whichever order you like, if you intend to read them both.

...wow, and what's wrong with the document editor _today_? No ruler lines? Sigh...

----------------

**Atypical**

(title subject to change)

_by Shimegami-chan_

----------------

It was a typical Sunday in typical Dimmsdale. Timmy Turner was wondering just what, in his rather boring boredom, he might wish for to make his day a little more...out of the ordinary.

We've seen this scene before, of course. If it's not one wish it's another (and as of late, _many _of poor Timmy's wishes had needed to be unwished), and Wanda saw the expectant glint in Timmy's eye as he slammed the door open, wearing his usual ensemble of pink cap and shirt, but with the addition of a slighty-neurotic grin.

"Now what?" Wanda sighed from the fishbowl, clearly expecting the worst - and not without good reason. She thought he'd learned his lesson last weekend with the "nagging incident," as the boy had taken to calling it, and all week both Timmy and Cosmo had been absolute angels. But now it was Sunday, and there was only so long a ten-year-old could go without getting into some sort of trouble.

As for Cosmo...almost ten thousand years of living with the absent-minded fairy had taught her how to deal. The combination of Cosmo and Timmy, however, was frequently high-maintenance, and frequently explosive. She rolled her eyes in anticipation.

"I have a wish," Timmy declared, still sporting that frightening grin.

Cosmo poofed out of the fish bowl with a smile that mirrored his godchild's. "Lay it on me, man!"

"Well..." Timmy waited expectantly for Wanda to join them, then coughed and continued as she reluctantly did. "_In light_ of recent wishing-gone-bad, I've decided to do a good deed and wish for something that can do good for others."

Wanda looked shocked but quickly recovered. "I'm proud of you, sport!" she cried, wrapping him in a tight hug. "I always knew this would happen someday!"

Beaming, Timmy put his hands on his hips. "I've decided to wish that Dimmsdale was the nicest, cleanest city on the planet!"

Impressed, Wanda crossed her arms. _I have to admit, when he said 'do good for others,' I almost thought he was going to wish for candy for his friends or something short-sighted...Timmy may be on to something here! _"Wow," was all she could manage aloud. "I think that's a pretty good wish."

"Really?" Timmy seemed pleased as well. "I dunno, I expected you to find something wrong with it, like usual. I hoped not, though."

"See, Wanda?" Cosmo cut in. "We're both being big thinkers today! I'm going to grant this one perfectly by myself, you'll see?"

"By yourself?" Wanda asked dubiously. "Do you have enough magic to change the entire town for the better?"

"Honey, I could change the _world_ if I wanted to!" he crowed in reply, raising his wand, which emitted a gentle shower of sparkles.

Timmy blinked. "Done?"

"Done!"

Wanda simply could not believe what she was hearing. "I'm so happy, you two! You're being so...responsible!"

Cosmo beamed. "Yay!"

Timmy held the door open for his godparents (despite the fact that he knew 'doors are for chumps,' to fairies) and nodded in the direction of the stairs. "Should we go outside and take a look at the new Dimmsdale? How about from the roof?"

"Sure!" Cosmo and Wanda singsang in unison, poofing them up to the top of the Turner house, where they would be able to see the full extent of Cosmo's handiwork. Once out in the air, though, Wanda bit her lip, realizing at once that the town didn't look very different from usual...in fact, it wasn't different at _all_. She frowned, wondering what had gone wrong.

Timmy had evidently caught on to the botched magic as well. "Hey, what happened? Weren't you cleaning up the place?"

"I thought I did," Cosmo said nervously.

Suspicion growing, Wanda poofed quickly to the next town over, and then the next, confirming Cosmo's mistake. She returned to the roof with neutral expression. "He got it partly right...Dimmsdale _is _the nicest town now. All the other towns have turned into dumps."

"No way!" Timmy screeched.

"I'm afraid so."

"Uh, I guess I should have let you help," the green-haired fairy said unabashedly. "But hey, Dimmsdale's looking pretty good, right?" He hid his wand behind his back, looking confused and guilty.

"Ugh, Cosmo, you dope! That wasn't what I wanted!" Timmy smacked his palm against his forehead. "I wish you weren't so _stupid_ sometimes!"

"Ah." Cosmo and Wanda glanced at each other. Wanda looked pained. "Timmy, remember what happened before..."

Timmy thought for a second. "Oh...I said 'I wish,' didn't I?"

Cosmo nodded, pouting.

The pink-hatted boy only managed to look angrier. "Well, this and that are different! Maybe it'd do you some good, don't you think? I'm not taking back the wish!"

"Okay," Wanda sighed. Wordlessly both fairies raised their wands, and after the pink poof of smoke and shower of sparkles, all eyes were on Cosmo.

"What?" he snapped irritably, in a strange accent that sounded almost...British? "If you don't like what I did to the town, then _un-wish it._"

Timmy scowled right back. "Fine. I wish the town was back to normal. Forget _that_ stupid idea, there's no point in wishing for anyone else's sake with _you_ around."

Cosmo looked absolutely furious. "I absolutely do not see why we put up with you, Timothy. I thought you intended to change your ways."

"Did you just call me _Timothy?_"

"Hold it!" Wanda intervened, physcially putting herself between them. "Cosmo isn't trying to be cruel, sweetie, he's probably just a little teed off about things going wrong. Don't be too hard on him."

Cosmo looked shocked and indignant. "I can speak for myself, you know!"

"Yes, and if you do, we'll likely end up with some extreme wishing." She sighed. "Please, Cosmo, I need to have a heart-to-heart with Timmy. Go on back to the castle, and I'll put the towns back to normal, okay?"

"Fine." The green-haired fairy poofed away, leaving the words "RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION" in his wake. Wanda blinked, but the text disappeared without a trace.

"What?" Timmy asked grumpily.

"You don't _really_ want to keep Cosmo changed, do you? He didn't mean any harm. He's a blunderer sometimes, but you know he has a good heart."

"If he's got a good heart anyway, then why does it matter if we add a little IQ?"

Wanda didn't know what to say. "You're...not going to un-wish it, then?"

"Maybe I will when I have a reason."

The pink-haired fairy sighed and gave up. She could tell this was going to be a long day...so when Wanda reappeared in the castle the two married fairies shared, she wasn't entirely certain what to expect, nor was she particularly surprised when she found a brooding, pouting Cosmo lying with his face down on the kitchen table, hands balled into fists. "Cosmo, sweetie?"

"Don't bother, hon," he interjected, raising his head to look at her. He was wearing a tiny brown bowler hat in place of his crown. "You were right; we should have done it together. I'm sorry I made such a fuss."

This admission stunned Wanda so hard that she had to sit down quickly, across from her husband where she could study his face. "I, uh, I...well...it's okay, Cosmo. No worries."

"No worries," he agreed. He nodded over at the stove. "Tea? I was just about to make some."

"Sure," Wanda replied disbelievingly. _This must be because of Timmy's wish...usually he wouldn't know how to boil water, much less offer any to me..._

_I didn't even know Cosmo _liked _tea._

Now the hat in combination with the odd accent was indubitable. It was definitely British, and definitely familiar, not to mention unsettling. Wanda decided she'd better pry a little more, lest she end up on the receiving end of any strange surprises. "Are you feeling all right, by the way?"

Cosmo looked at her oddly. "Never better. Actually, I'm feeling very relaxed, as though a headache I didn't even know was there has up and left."

"That's good." The female fairy smothered the last of her suspicion with that; her husband wasn't sporting fangs or showing any signs of being an Anti-Fairy. She couldn't help but wonder what was happening to Anti-Cosmo at this point, though. Would he have contracted Cosmo's Dancer now that it had inadvertantly been wished away?

_It'd serve him right_, she thought.

"Wanda, dearest, are _you _feeling quite all right? You don't look well."

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Just thinking, that's all."

----------------

Before they knew it, one week had passed since Timmy Turner's great effort to help mankind by making his fairy godfather smart, and Timmy had long decided that the New Cosmo was extremely boring. Besides making the boy jump every time he spoke in that weird accent, casually using words Timmy didn't know (he resolved to look up "incontrovertible" in the dictionary later) and spending most of his time drinking tea and shamelessly flirting with Wanda, Cosmo was simply not doing his part to put his unique dose of fun into Timmy's wishes.

An intelligent Cosmo, of course, was something Timmy had never _dreamed_ he'd be regretting.

"I say, Timothy," the fairy volunteered boredly as he watched his godchild draw up a large model of a spaceship he intended to wish for, "Don't you think you could find a better use for your efforts? You have a math test tomorrow, yes?"

"Cosmo!" Timmy complained. "You of all people can't say something like that!"

"And why not?" the fairy demanded, looking extremely insulted.

"This from a guy who took _ten years _to get through high school?"

"Ah, point, set, and match. In my youth I was hardly the most dedicated of scholars. However, you must do as I say, not as I did! You won't regret it!" He wagged his finger admonishingly and poofed a stack of schoolbooks at Timmy's feet. "Spend your evening studying, my dear boy, and I may even be convinced into some 'extreme' wishing tonight! How does a lively game of croquet sound to you, hmm? We could play in medieval times!"

Timmy couldn't answer, his mouth was hanging open so wide. The green-haired fairy reached out to snap it shut with a _clack _and nodded encouragingly before teleporting away. "There, doesn't it sound marvelous? Hop-to! I'll be waiting for you!"

When breath returned to him, Timmy didn't stop to calm himself before bellowing "_Wandaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!_"

His godmother heard the cry and poofed out of the castle and to Timmy's side in a heartbeat. "What's up, sport?"

"It's about Cosmo," the boy said grimly.

Wanda, however, seemed to go off-track the moment Timmy said the word _Cosmo_. "Oh, was he out here? I was looking all over the castle for him! That dear boy went and rearranged all the things in our storage rooms so it was all nice and neat, and he poofed up a hot breakfast in bed for me this morning, too! Isn't that fantastic?" She looked at Timmy expectantly.

"Uh...yeah, Wanda, that's great, but..."

"But...?"

"Well..."Timmy leaned close, just in case Cosmo was within earshot. "You're not getting sick of this 'smart Cosmo' thing yet, are you? I just thought I'd check, you know, in case..."

"Oh, goodness, no!" Wanda laughed, a high, nervous sound. "He's never been sweeter! What more could I ask for?"

Timmy nervously plastered a fake smile onto his face. _Oh, great, he's being an annoying godfather but a perfect husband. So totally not what I needed._ "Oh, well, that's good! I just wanted to make sure." _You know, before I wish him back to being stupid. _"Uh, I'll just start studying for my math test now, then. See you later."

Wanda did a double take. "Looks like some of Cosmo's new smarts are rubbing off on you!"

"Something like that," Timmy mumbled as she poofed away. He flopped down on his bed to think. _Think about other people's feelings, Timmy. Remember the nagging incident..._

The _nagging_ incident. He'd promised both Cosmo and Wanda that he was going to be more thoughful and less selfish. How could he tell Wanda that he wanted to wish away the best thing to happen to her in almost ten thousand years?

-----------------------

After leaving Timmy, Wanda poofed herself directly into the hallway closet, pressing her hands against the door. _What was I supposed to say? I didn't expect Timmy to ask me _that

_Of course I'm not getting sick of the new Cosmo! This is just what I wanted! Right...? It doesn't matter if his personality's a little different. He's still Cosmo, and now he has the sense to treat me like a wife instead of a servant. What's so bad about that, huh?_

"Wanda!" That voice, so familiar and yet still so alien, was calling her again. "Are you here, dear?"

She poofed out into the hallway, wearing a nervous smile. "I'm here."

"Oh, fantastic." He smiled and took her hands in his. She noticed that he was wearing a monocle. A _monocle!_ "Would you care to join Timothy and I for some croquet, later? He's promised me a game right after he finishes studying."

"Timmy? Since when does he like croquet?" She stared at the green-haired fairy in disbelief. Surely he couldn't be serious - him of all people playing croquet, and not just using the wickets for Timmyball? The monocle, when Cosmo had perfect vision? And what was _next_, if he'd already taken to Anti-Cosmo's sense of accessorizing? Blue teeth? Fangs?

"Why, I don't know, my dear, but he agreed!" Cosmo gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Now, I've poofed up some crumpets in the parlour if you'd care for tea. How about it?"

Again, Wanda drew a blank. "We have a parlour?"

Cosmo laughed to himself. "We do now! It's so unfitting to be without a good spot to relax, don't you think?"

Since the old Cosmo's favorite place to relax in the castle was the arcade, Wanda wasn't sure how to answer that. She allowed Cosmo to lead her to the new parlour, which was trimmed in soft green and gold, and featured bookshelves stacked with volumes, a short table framed by padded wicker chairs, and a magical window that opened out onto a beautiful garden. _This is insane._

"This is beautiful," was what she said out loud, though, sitting as Cosmo drew out her chair to assist.

"Isn't it marvelous?" he agreed. Instead of just poofing up the tea directly into the cups, he poured it from an ornate porcelain teapot, the spout and sides of which were embossed with gold swirl designs. The teacups were also rimmed in gold. "Sugar, darling? Cream? Two and two?"

"Extra today, please, pumpkin," she replied in a dazed voice. "Cosmo..."

"Yes, dear?"

"Are you happy?"

Cosmo had the grace to look taken aback for a moment before smiling at her. "Of course I am, my dear! I have a sharp, bright little godchild, the most beautiful wife in all of Fairy World..." Wanda blushed, "this lovely castle, and the good sense to finally appreciate it all. Why, Wanda, there once was a time, not too long ago, when I feel I took you and Timothy for granted...I can never say 'I love you,' now too many times to make up for it."

"Oh, Cosmo." Wanda's cheeks flamed in a combination of embarassment and guilt. "I love you too."

"Wonderful." He grinned and stood, drawing her close for a kiss over the table. "I could stay like this forever, darling. Couldn't you?"

She offered him a small smile. "Of course...but sit tight for a moment, puddin'. I need to run to the powder room."

He winked good-naturedly. "Take your time, my sweet."

Blowing him a kiss, Wanda poofed out of the drawing-room, not into the bathroom, but out of the fishbowl completely, where a startled Timmy sat up to greet her. "Hey, Wanda."

"Hey, sport." Wanda said sadly. "Listen, about Cosmo...I didn't want to ask if you were really enjoying the change...but how do you feel about wishing him back to normal?"

Timmy bit his lip. "Why? I thought he was being really nice to you?"

"He is," Wanda replied with a glum expression. "He's wonderful and kind, but he's not _my_ Cosmo. He's not the fairy I married. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, Timmy..."

"Nah." Timmy cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Croquet isn't my thing anyway. I wish...I wish Cosmo was back to normal. Dancer and all."

Wanda raised her wand and it emitted smoke and a tiny shower of sparkles, indicating that the wish was granted. Godmother and son looked at each other hesitantly. "I guess I'll go check on him." Poofing into the hallway, she eased through the open doorway of the drawing-room to find Cosmo still seated at the table, looking glumly down into his teacup. "Cosmo...?"

"Wanda." His look of dismay worsened. "Wanda, I'm sorry, I don't know what happened..."

"What are you talking about, sweetheart?" She floated over to him and smoothed his hair, conscious of the absence of hat, monocle and accent. "What's wrong?"

He threw his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. "My smartness went away!"

"Oh, oh." She let him grip the front of her yellow shirt, rubbing his back. "That's okay, no big deal, right?"

"But Wanda!" He sniffled and pulled away long enough to look at her surprised face. "You're not upset?"

"Why would I be?" She laughed, the sound fake and hollow to her own ears.

He studied her expression intently. "I thought you wanted me to be smart...I thought you liked the new me. Didn't you?"

"Aww." She held him close, sighing happily. _This_ was the Cosmo she'd missed. "Of course I liked the new you, but I liked the old you, too. Don't worry about it, hon, I love you just the way you are."

------------

_**Elsewhere...**_

"Yer borin' again," sighed Anti-Wanda, shoving her husband away with her feet. "What's with yeh? Suddenly yeh go back to being like yeh sat on a tack. Bah."

"Drat," Anti-Cosmo swore, feeling dizzy and decidedly still residually stupid. "If I didn't know better, I'd think that I was actually starting to enjoy being like my moronic counterpart."

"I enjoyed it," the female anti-fairy declared. "Yeh're a lot more fun when yeh're not so durn _smart_, hahaw."

"Oh, shut up," Anti-Cosmo wheezed. He glared at his wife, resolving to save a special and excrutiatingly painful punishment for Cosmo when next they met.

_-fin-_


End file.
